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I have three good reasons why this is the first post I’ve made since the last results column: 1) I was lazy, 2) I do not care at all about what happens at this show, and 3) I have a much larger project that I’ve been working on for the past week and am going to be working on for the next couple of weeks more, a project that I hope will be spread across the internet and reach the office of one Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Or one of his underlings. Anyway, you could fill a football stadium with how much I don’t care about Bragging Rights, so let’s get this picks post out of the way, shall we?

Champion vs. Champion – Daniel Bryan Danielson vs. Dolph Ziggler

If this is the prelude to the unification of the United States and Intercontinental Championships, I’m pretty much okay with it. As much as it seems like Vince hates pushing Danielson, he hasn’t lost on PPV yet. Well, he got pinned in that WWE vs. Nexus match at Summerslam, but that was after he eliminated two Nexus members, which I count as a win. I just wish Michael Cole would shut up for five minutes about how much he hates Danielson so we could enjoy his matches. Ziggler is just kind of there, not really advancing past the mid card. Because he’s perfect in PPV matches so far, I’m picking Daniel Bryan Danielson to win and someday become the Unified Inter-United-Conti-States-Nental champion.

Diva’s Championship – Layla (c) vs. Natalya

Laycool is never going to drop these belts as long as they’re together and a disqualification means they retain the belt. Layla retains. NEXT.

WWE Championship – Randy Orton (c) vs. Wade Barrett

Yawn. Randy Orton retains somehow, either by an accidental DQ by Cena or Barrett or a freak pinfall after said mistake by Cena.

Buried Alive Match for the World Heavyweight Championship – Kane (c) vs. The Undertaker

Every time I’ve picked the Undertaker to win, he’s lost. But not this time! This feud has been losing steam for the past few weeks, and a Buried Alive match is very symbolic of finishing something for good. This is going to be the last match in this feud for a while. If they decide to pick it up again, it won’t be for a couple of months, which may be a good idea. As to who wins, well, I think I kind of gave that away in the first two sentences. Against my better judgment, I am once again picking The Undertaker to win. Maybe Kane will go into hiding afterwards so they don’t have a return match. I don’t know, really. Bu it should be fun.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown – 7-on-7 Elimination Match

What’s the point? What’s the point of booting Kaval out of the match in favor of Super Hobo Man, AKA Tyler Reks? What’s the point in replacing Mark Henry with the immensely awful Ezekiel Jackson? What’s the point of having a Survivor Series PPV when we’ve already had one 7-on-7 elimination match at Summerslam and one at Bragging Rights? I’m convinced there is no point. I’m not even going to try to go into the feuds both within each team and between the two teams, because it would be a waste of my time. Team Raw wins this severely pointless match.

I apologize for the shortness of this entry. I just hope it helps you understand how little I care about Bragging Rights and WWE in general. Part of it does have to do with politics, and part of it has to do with how awful WWE is in comparison to a good wrestling promotion. I am getting tired of the boring, stale programming that WWE is pumping out every week. I may stop watching altogether soon. Especially if they actually try to land Justin Bieber to sing the national anthem at Wrestlemania 27. Then I’m boycotting them forever. So much for trying to end this on a positive note. Stay functional, everyone!

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