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I don’t think I’ve been this happy as a results of a WWE decision in a very long time. Two weeks ago, when The Miz was initially approached about being the last member of Team WWE, I knew that something was up. I knew that a certain individual was going to be involved at Summerslam. And last night, my hopes were, indeed, answered. If you haven’t seen Summerslam and don’t want major spoilers, turn away now!

Are they gone? Okay. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Bryan Danielson is back on WWE programming! I’m certain that Vince is giving him a deal where he can work the rest of his indy bookings before coming to Raw full-time. So his last few indy matches should be pretty awesome. But I’m getting way ahead of myself here. Let’s take a look at Summerslam.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston for the Intercontinental Championship ends in a No Contest

In what was a pretty good opener, Kofi and Dolph battled for some ten minutes before Nexus appeared and assaulted both men, leading to the no contest. I was a little apprehensive that the rest of the night’s matches would be ruined by Nexus, but thankfully that was not the case. If it was the case, then I’m sure all of my predictions would have been tossed out. Anyway, I kind of expected this to be the opener, and it was pretty good. Yes, it had Vickie Guerrero, but aside from her presence, it was an enjoyable match. Ziggler remains the IC Champion, and Kofi gets to move up to the main event…well, probably not just yet, but soon.

Diva’s Title Match – Melina defeated Alicia Fox to become the NEW Diva’s Champion

It was a decent match. Melina hopefully didn’t injure herself yet again. And after her victory, we get LayCool coming down to the ring to spoil the whole thing. Melina shoves both Lay and Cool away, only to get pummeled for her troubles. I hope this is the beginning of a title unification, as having two womens’ titles in WWE is about as pointless as you can get. I don’t really think that any of the three women deserve to hold a title, anyway. Melina is too injury-prone, Layla has little in-ring talent, and McCool is just irritating. I’d prefer to see a Women’s Title match between Nattie Neidhart and Tamina any day of the week before any match involving Layla. Also, how weird was it to have Josh Matthews essentially appear out of nowhere? I guess magically appearing from nowhere was a theme for the evening (OOH FORESHADOWING).

The Big Show defeated The Straight Edge Society in a 1-on-3 Handicap Match

Okay, so I got this pick wrong. I accept it. It honestly could have gone either way. Show…er…showed us that he has a healing factor nearly as powerful as John Cena, coming back from a vicious beatdown only to essentially no-sell the entire match AND getting his hand broken two weeks prior. It isn’t quite as epic as Cena no-selling death, but it’s still pretty ridiculous. Anyway, another decent match, nothing special. I heard in an interview on a podcast hosted by none other than Colt Cabana that Punk actually hand-picked Gallows and Mercury to work with as part of the SES, and I think that’s a great sign for both Gallows and Mercury. Punk is one of the top heels in the company, and getting his seal of approval has got to be a boost to their confidence and it should prove to Creative that both men do, in fact, deserve their spots. Yes, in the end, Punk walked out of the match, leaving Gallows and Mercury to be punished by the giant, but it was probably a learning experience for both. At least, that’s probably how Punk is going to spin the match come Friday.

We then are treated to a fairly lengthy Miz promo where he says he will join Team WWE for the 7-on-7 match later that evening. He did have a hissy fit at the audience, telling them that they should raise their hands if they wish to speak, and immediately, about a thousand people raised their hands. That was a great moment.

Randy Orton defeated Sheamus by DQ; Sheamus retains the WWE Championship

I’m still surprised that the announcers were talking about this match like it had never happened before. Does no one remember the Royal Rumble? These two had a match back then. This match was about as good as a Sheamus match can get. Which isn’t that great, overall. But the end was a little weird. We all know how little it takes for someone to “accidentally” knock out a referee, right? A single punch, an Irish whip into the corner, or sometimes a stiff breeze will KO a ref for minutes at a time. So it was a little odd that Jack Doan, the referee of this match, was not only smacked by Sheamus, but tumbled through the ropes and to the floor, yet remained conscious long enough to call for the disqualification. Most refs would have been out before they hit the ground. What’s up with that? Anyway, we’re probably going to get yet another Orton/Sheamus match at Night of Champions, to which I say SNORE. They’ll probably drag this feud out until HHH can return, and then we get to fall asleep during Raw!

Kane defeated Rey Mysterio to retain the World Heavyweight Championship

This was a good match, but the best part was the Undertaker’s return. I believe Kane opened the casket four times during the course of the match, including twice after the match had ended, in order to dump Mysterio in there and (presumably) cart him off to the netherworld. But, seemingly by magic, the final time Kane opens the casket, who should be laying there but the Deadman. I know he was there the whole time, but damnit, I marked out like crazy when the revealed Taker laying in the casket. Then, he rose from the ashes, climbed into the ring, and nearly destroyed Rey. But Taker knew better, and proceeded to assault Kane. Unfortunately, Kane got the better of Taker, and hit Taker with a Tombstone piledriver. At first, I was disappointed that they didn’t bring Taker back strong, but then I remembered that, according to the storyline, Taker has been in a coma for the past couple of months, so it makes sense that Kane should be able to overpower him. Still, this will set up a Taker vs. Kane feud, which, if nothing else, should be monumentally epic.

Team WWE (John Cena, Chris Jericho, Edge, John Morrison, R-Truth, Bret Hart, and Bryan Danielson(!)) defeated Nexus in a 7-on-7 Tag Team Elimination Match

I hate to gloat, but two weeks ago, I knew that Danielson would be involved with Summerslam. As soon as Miz got himself involved, all I could think was, “Danielson will be the 7th member of Team WWE.” And, thankfully, I was right. Miz’s night was spoiled by the man he was supposedly a mentor to, and it gave me so much satisfaction to see Danielson not only back in a WWE ring, but to make two members of Nexus tap out to an armbar/crossface combination submission that looked thoroughly painful. The match itself was very back-and-forth, with no team truly gaining a big advantage. The largest advantage was a two-man advantage early on, when Team WWE was up 7 to 5. It was close from then on. And despite the massive face reaction that both Jericho and Edge got, after their consecutive eliminations, they turned on Cena and pummeled him thoroughly. But Cena’s healing factor kicked in, and allowed Danielson to get his second elimination of the night. What followed was the first real salvo in the soon-to-be Miz vs. Danielson feud: Miz smashed Danielson in the back of the head with his Money in the Bank Briefcase, allowing Nexus to pin Danielson. There’s a tangent coming right about now: I believe that Miz will be the first Money in the Bank winner to not end up as a world champion after cashing in the briefcase. The way it’s been built up, it feels like no matter when he cashes it in, he’s going to lose. Either that, or someone’s going to take it away from him. Anyway, after Danielson’s untimely departure, Cena was left in a 2-on-1 situation against Wade Barrett and Justin Gabriel. They proceeded to tear up the padding outside the ring and DDT Cena on the concrete, which honestly should have caused a disqualification, but maybe that’s just my opinion. Now, if you thought Big Show’s healing factor was impressive earlier in the evening, it’s nothing compared to Cena’s. Not three minutes after being rammed head-first into concrete, he manages to avoid Gabriel’s 450 Splash and pin him, then lock Barrett in the STFU and win the match. Yes, it’s silly, and it really makes it more difficult to suspend my disbelief in regards to these matches, but it was the only way the match could have reasonably ended. Well, that, or after Cena pinned Gabriel, Barrett charged in, hit his finisher, and ended the night with Nexus winning. But that was not the case, and Team WWE pulled off the win. I have to give Matt Striker for sticking up for Bryan Danielson throughout Michael “Douchebag of the Year” Cole’s relentless Dragon-bashing. I really hope we get a Cole vs. Danielson match at some point so Danielson can kick Cole’s head off. I don’t believe Nexus is done by any means, but a few of them definitely do not deserve a spot on Raw just yet. Or at all *COUGH*Otunga*COUGH*

So Summerslam is over. How was it? Overall, it was decent. Nothing super-special save the return of both The Undertaker and Bryan Danielson. Not a bad show by any means, but it’s probably not worth purchasing. I’d recommend a rental at least.

And with that, I’m ending this post a little early. But don’t despair, because I’ll be back with my epic 100th post of pure awesome. So stay tuned, fans! And remember to stay awesome.


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