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I thought I might not be able to do picks this weekend, as I had plans for both today and tomorrow, but I was given a little bit of time tonight, so I’m seizing it and doing picks now.

Looking at the card, this show seems awfully threadbare.  There are all of four matches announced.  Which begs the question: are the chamber matches going to be an hour long each, or are there going to be one or two “special bonus matches” crammed in at the last minute?  I don’t particularly like the idea of either happening, but if I were to pick one, I’d have to pick the extra match (or matches).  An hour long chamber match would get really tedious to watch, and it would increase the probability of injury quite a bit.  I especially don’t want to see guys like The Undertaker in there for an hour.  If he’s going to have a match at Wrestlemania 26, he’ll need to get as much rest between now and then as possible, so it would be best to have him exit quickly in his match.  Anyway, if there are bonus matches added, obviously they won’t count towards my picks.  I could always guess as to what type of bonus match we’d get.  If anything, it’ll either be a United States Title match or a Unified Tag Team Title match.  Either way, we get The Miz.  It wouldn’t surprise me if we got Show Miz vs. MVP and Mark Henry or Miz Show vs. Matt Hardy and the Great Khali (weirdest tag team in a long time).  Or if it’s a US Title match, Miz vs…I have no idea.  There is no mid-card on Raw, so trying to find a viable contender is next to impossible.  I’d guess Mark Henry, MVP, Evan Bourne, or maybe, just maybe, Yoshi Tatsu.  I doubt the last name will come up, but there’s always a possibility.

So, with that said and done, let’s go ahead and go through what little of a card there is.

Diva’s Championship – Maryse vs. Gail Kim

I’m betting that a lot of people are picking Maryse to win the Diva’s Title for the second time.  I don’t actually know this, but let’s just call it a hunch.  I, however, feel in my gut that Gail Kim will FINALLY win her first title since coming back to WWE after a lengthy time as basically the founder of TNA’s women’s division.  Lord knows she deserves it a hell of a lot more than Maryse.  I find Maryse dull, both in the ring and on the mic.  Not irritating as all hells like the two grade schoolers on Smackdown, but not entirely interesting in any way.  My heart and my gut are in agreement for once.  Gail Kim wins and becomes the Diva’s Champion.

Intercontinental Championship – Drew McIntyre (c) vs. Kane

McIntyre’s Intercontinental Title reign has been even more of a disaster than Sheamus’ WWE Title reign.  McIntyre has proven absolutely nothing to me since redebuting last year.  His in-ring work is very dull and plodding, and his mic work is pretty uninspired.  He and Sheamus are actually sort of mirroring each other on the two brands.  The only difference is that one has the major title around his extremely pale waist, while the other carries the secondary title around like a pansy.  Having the exact same character on two different shows, both holding titles, is very damaging to the product as a whole.  It just makes for less entertaining television.  Anyway, this match is a joke.  Kane’s slowing down and probably will hand up his boots soon, and McIntyre can’t seem to work well with anybody.  This is a lose-lose situation.  In the end, we know that McIntyre isn’t going to lose his precious title to the likes of Kane.  Maybe a DQ or count-out victory for Kane, but Drew McIntyre retains the IC Title.  I’ll say McIntyre wins, though, because Vince loves to put over his favorites.

World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber Match – The Undertaker (c) vs. CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth vs. John Morrison

Even though this list has more “veterans” than the Raw Chamber match, this one intrigues me more.  Yes, it’s also the more predictable one, but at least you’ve got some real high-flyers.  Well, unless Morrison’s ankle injury thing will prevent him from even entering the chamber, which might just allow Shawn Michaels to enter the Chamber anyway.  Wouldn’t that be a twist?  Anyway, I don’t think it matters anyway.  You can cut the list in half immediately, since Morrison, Truth, and Mysterio have no chance at winning this.  Punk is likely not going to hold another world championship for a while, as he’s stuck with this Straight Edge Society gimmick (which, if it ever wants to be taken seriously, needs to add about a half dozen more people to it very soon).  That leaves Taker and Jericho.  I’ve already outlined (as I believe many other columnists have done) that Jericho vs. Edge at Wrestlemania 26 will likely be THE main event.  And that would require one of them to hold the World Heavyweight Championship.  And since Edge isn’t getting a title shot until Wrestlemania, it looks like Chris Jericho wins his sixth World Title.

Sidebar: I’m not really feeling Edge’s face turn.  It feels like he’s been a heel for too long a stretch, and he’s kind of forgotten how to be a face.  Now, I don’t know what he was like for quite a few years before I started watching wrestling again in 2006, but what I do remember of Edge as a face (back when he was with Christian) was that he was a goofy face.  And when he tries to be a serious face, he ends up more heelish than he probably should.  I don’t know.  Maybe he was never a great face to begin with.  He’s getting the same reaction as Randy Orton, even though Orton’s still blatantly a heel.  I hope Edge can figure out how to be a face soon, because he’s definitely sending mixed messages, and it’s making for some strange TV.

Okay, back to the main topic.

WWE Championship Elimination Chamber Match – Sheamus (c) vs. John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. HHH vs. Ted Dibiase vs. Kofi Kingston

On paper, this match looks a hell of a lot less interesting than the Smackdown Chamber match.  You’ve got Cena, Orton, and HHH in ANOTHER main event, along with Sheamus, the worst World Champion since The Great Khali, and two guys who don’t stand a chance.  Kofi’s still got unresolved issues with Orton, so they’ll probably end up getting eliminated.  Dibiase’s program with Orton and Rhodes is very awkward, so they’ll also probably have issues.  So we’re down to three.  The last thing I want to see right now is Sheamus defending the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania, but the way things are going right now, it wouldn’t surprise me one bit to see it happen.  I don’t think either Cena or HHH need another title run, unless we get HHH vs. HBK in a Title vs. Career match at Wrestlemania, which wouldn’t be a bad thing at all.  If I didn’t feel so strongly in my gut that Sheamus is going to retain, I’d actually pick HHH to win.  But he’s won enough of these matches.  And Cena’s going to be involved in the whole McMahon/Hart situation anyway, so it looks like Sheamus retains the WWE Championship and goes on to Wrestlemania to face…let’s say…damn, I can’t think of a single person.  Raw’s Wrestlemania main event is going to suck this year.

So there you have it.  I’m going to head off to bed, since I have to be up early tomorrow.  So I’ll be back in a couple of days with Elimination Chamber results and thoughts, and soon after, a scathing rant about NXT (maybe).  Until then, stay awesome!


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