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Well, I said I’d be back with the second half of my bevy of topicry, so here you go!

The first two items I have to discuss are connected.  First off, the past few WWE PPV shows have had very fre championship matches.  Now, I don’t necessarily want every PPV to be Night of Champions, because some feuds would benefit greatly from a PPV match (Kofi/Orton, for example).  But just two title matches on one of the Big Four?  You’re depriving people who pay their hard-earned cash to buy a ticket.  I know that Survivor Series is unique in its format, and there will always be elimination matches involved, but even if you have three elimination matches (as they have this year), that’s no excuse to have just two title matches.  I’m especially disappointed that the ECW Championship hasn’t been defended at a Pay-Per-View since Breaking Point.  That was two months ago.  Yes, there have been two ECW Title matches in the meantime on their weekly broadcast, but when you exclude the third world championship from a PPV show, it says to me that WWE Creative doesn’t think the ECW Championship is important enough to defend on a PPV.  Most people believe it has the same amount of prestige as the Intercontinental or US Titles, and the way Creative has been treating it, I’d have to agree.  Sure, the two ECW Title matches were very good (including Yoshi Tatsu’s breakout match against Christian and a great match in England that honestly went about four minutes too long), but what does that say about the confidence Creative has in their champion and his challengers?  I would think Tatsu has earned a spot on a PPV with his title match against Christian a few weeks ago, and Regal always deserves a spot.

Here’s how I think the WWE Creative meeting went the night after Summerslam: “Okay, we gave the fans an ECW Title match.  And it was awesome!  Christian catches Regal with his robe over his head and beats him in nine seconds after this huge feud!  It’s hilarious!  But the fans didn’t like it.  So instead of giving them what they want, which would be a real match between the two, we’re just going to stop having ECW Title matches on PPVs.  The fans obviously don’t want to see it if they’re saying how bad the match was.”  Followed by some “Hur dur dur” noises and grunts of approval.  I know I’m being really harsh, but damnit, give Christian some respect!

On a similar note, I also don’t approve of the multitude of title matches that has been going on during the past couple of weeks in order to “make up” for only having two title matches at Survivor Series.  But you know what?  We all already figured out that none of the titles were going to change hands.  It was pathetically obvious that neither Morrison nor Miz would lose their titles, as their feud is (hopefully) far from over.  Having one of them lose and the other retain would make the loser look terrible, and basically forecast who was going to win.  But why bother having title matches if everybody knows it’s pointless?  Jericho and Show aren’t going to lose the tag titles before Survivor Series.  Melina isn’t going to lose her title.  Why not just give us the title matches at the PPV show?  Or just wait until the next show?  You don’t have to have title matches every three weeks!  (I realize I am basically contradicting myself here, but keep in mind that I think that SOME titles should be defended at each PPV.  Just rotate which ones get defended when, and nobody will be dissatisfied)  When you make the decisions this obvious, it takes away from the product as a whole and makes you wonder why you put up with so much crap all the time.

Okay, time for a couple of quick picks.  First off, I will hate the new Raw theme song until they change it.  Papa Roach wasn’t necessarily a good choice for the last theme song, but at least the song was upbeat.  Nickelback is one of the most pretentious bands on the face of the planet, and I have less than zero respect for them.  Having to listen to their shitty “music” every week is torture for me.  They don’t deserve to be famous.  I’ll just have to start fast-forwarding through the intro now.

#2 – White guys with shaved heads look like serial killers, plain and simple.  Randy Orton, Kurt Angle, Dave Batista.  Shaving your head doesn’t make you look manlier.  It makes you look like a goddamn psychopath.  Let your hair grow out.  I don’t care if you’re balding and you want to hide it.  A white man with even a wisp of hair looks more sane than a white man with a shaved head.  Unless you look like this guy. And yes, that IS a dude.  Just barely, it appears.

And now, for the big topic of the day, one I’ve been wanting to rant about for a long time.  I have had it with the absolutely abhorrent camera work of World Wrestling Entertainment.  Their copious quick cuts, their “too close for comfort” shots, and the biggest offense, the “multiple quick pans that attempt to show action but just make you queasy.”  I am so goddamned sick and tired of these “techniques.”  They’re used to obscure what little action is really going on inside and outside a WWE ring.  The cameras never focus on one spot at a time, and they never keep the cameras steady.  I do realize that trying to follow the action of a wrestling match isn’t the easiest job in the world, but at least give us a picture we can focus on instead of jerking the camera up and down when one guy is punching another guy into the ground.  Capture the whole image, not just a tiny piece of the whole.  This is why so many WWE cameramen get hit and we get shitty angles: because they’re too close to the action.  We (the viewers at home) don’t need to feel like we’re RIGHT THERE IN THE THICK OF IT.  I don’t need a close-up of HHH’s back every time he goes outside the ring to pummel some poor, helpess young star just trying to catch a break.  What I want to see if a well-captured picture of the entire frame of action.  Is that so difficult to achieve?  I highly doubt it.  Ring of Honor manages to get all the action without crowding the wrestlers, and all their cameramen are young people using these little hand cams.  They don’t always get the best angle of action, but they don’t crowd the wrestlers and show us half of what happens.  And when somebody’s pummeling someone else outside the ring, they DON’T JERK THE CAMERA AROUND!  That, and the fact that the wrestlers are just better overall, is why I’m starting to watch more ROH.  I finally finished watching Punk: The Final Chapter, and it did cause me to gain a tremendous amount of respect for one Colt Cabana.  I also watched his return match at the 7th Anniversary Show, and he’s probably the most entertaining guy on the roster.  I fully believe that WWE completely screwed him over.  If I had to pick a guy to say he was a wrestling role model, it’d be him.  And I’m not just saying this because he’s a friend on Facebook.  The guy is genuinely entertaining.  I just wish he’d take his stand-up comedy on the road to, oh, I don’t know, say California?

Okay, that’s it for me today.  I’ll be back probably on Saturday for Survivor Series picks.  Until then, keep avoiding any news you hear about Hulk Hogan.  His entire life is just one big publicity stunt.  If you ignore him, eventually he’ll go away.  See you next time.


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