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I’ve had enough.  I am completely sick and tired of all these supposed “news stories” flying around the internet about Hulk Hogan.  How he “has more power than Dixie Carter,” that he “has control of TNA,” and that “he might not even show up to the Impact Zone until 2010, at the end of the current football season.” (My emphasis)  And now he has the audacity to talk about how his WWE Hall of Fame ring is a piece of junk, worth maybe $20?  I have four words for you, sir: shut the fuck up!  And some more words: we all know that everything you’re doing in your life now is nothing more than a publicity stunt in order to keep yourself in the spotlight just a little bit longer and so you can make just a little more money so you can pay your lawyers and your alimony.  If you need money so badly, go pawn that Hall of Fame ring you hate so much.  Then take the money you get and shove it in your mouth so we don’t have to hear you talk again.

I mean really, you’re not even going to show up to TNA TV tapings until NEXT YEAR because you want to watch football?  Unless I’m horrifically mistaken, football takes place no more than four days a week.  High school games are on Fridays, college games are on Saturdays, and pro games are Sundays and Mondays.  Now, unless you have a vested interest in all three levels of play (read: gambling on all three), then you STILL don’t actually have to miss any time with TNA.  Worst case scenario: you can’t make the Monday tapings, but you CAN make the Tuesday tapings, so you can at least show up on screen every couple of weeks, and maybe a PPV.  Saying you’re not going to even show up for tapings for the next two months says to me that you’re basically not taking this contract seriously, and that you’re pretty well just doing this to bleed TNA dry.  I’m surprised more people haven’t just up and quit TNA yet.  Kaz almost did, and I hope he does.  He’s tremendously talented, and we all know that he’ll never go anywhere with Hogan running things, if that is, in fact, even close to the truth.  I don’t even know what to believe anymore.  Probably nothing Hogan says is true, anyway, and he’s just saying all this shit just so he can hog the spotlight a little more every day.  I’m sick of it, and I won’t be talking about it anymore until I report that TNA is shutting down thanks to Hogan bungling the whole company up.  I think Hogan needs to go watch The Wrestler a couple of times.

Now, on to more pleasant things.  Raw was pure awesome, if only because we had Ozzy Osbourne as the guest host!  I think that this was the biggest name WWE has gotten so far to host Raw.  You don’t get much bigger than the father of heavy metal.  And yes, I’m completely biased.  Ozzy is one of my favorite performers ever.  And he was hilarious tonight!  From his constant mumbling and his confusion as to who everybody was (constant “Who was that?” or “Who the bloody hell are you?” cracked me up), and his fear of the Big Show was just perfect.  The Raw’s Got Talent segment was stupid and pointless, but we did get Santino biting the head off of a bat…man.  And a Chris Masters pec dance to Crazy Train, which Sharon loved.  We also got a really fun US Title match between Miz and Evan Bourne, a great six-man tag match with Kofi, MVP and WSM beating Legacy.  Kofi is really taking off.  There aren’t many people who will make your first major main event feud better than Randy Orton, I can tell you that for sure.  Mostly because nobody else in the Raw main event scene is any good at putting anybody else over.  Well, except for Cena, of course.  So these two are going to have a hell of a feud.  I’m hoping for a “traditional Survivor Series elimination match” between these two, so they can let the feud blossom and strengthen over the next few weeks and months.  Maybe even a showdown at the Royal Rumble?  And we got a Triple Threat match between Cena, Jericho, and Show, which I couldn’t concentrate on because we had DX on commentary, with HHH pseudo-breaking kayfabe during the entire match and HBK just ranting about physics and probability and his degree from the University of Tanzania or wherever it was.  It seemed to drive a spike between Jericho and Show until DX hit the ring and Show decimated them both.  I actually have to give HHH credit: he took the best Codebreaker bump I’ve seen.  The way he took the move is how everybody should take it: drop to your knees as Jericho’s back hits the mat.  It looks way more devastating that way.

There is one major blemish on the show tonight, and that was the Sheamus vs. Noble rematch from last week.  I’m specifically talking about the powerbomb on the floor at the end of the whole affair.  Now, I don’t know this for sure, as I wasn’t at the show, but the way the cameras showed it, it definitely looked like Sheamus put an awful lot of force behind that powerbomb as he slammed Noble onto the ground.  Usually when you’re outside, you lighten your spots a little since there’s less padding and concrete instead of many layers of canvas and a big spring underneath you.  The way Sheamus slammed Noble, it looked like he thought he was in the ring.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he broke Noble’s back with that.  And you have to wonder (or at least I do) why Sheamus used so much force behind that move.  A very disturbing thought popped into my head after watching the move about three times: what if Vince wants to fire Noble, but wants to get out of it without losing money, so he sends his big Irish poltergeist out to injure Noble, then fire Noble because he’s badly injured and won’t be back in the ring for a year.  And since Noble isn’t a top draw like Edge, VKM won’t have any qualms about letting him go.  I wouldn’t even be surprised if they called his back injury a pre-existing condition before firing him.  It all really makes me wonder if it’s all worth it to one James Gibson.  Is it really worth it to get paid whatever WWE pays you just to get humiliated every week and then probably get severely injured by some noob wrestler who can’t even put two moves together?  It’s actually kind of a question for every wrestler (and even every fan who wants to be a wrestler): would you choose money over prestige?  Would you rather be the top dog of a company but only make a couple thousand dollars a month, or would you want to make a hundred thousand dollars a year to be on national TV for two minutes a week getting beat up by guys who outweigh you by 75 pounds and whose in-ring talen tlevel is 1/20th of your own?  James Gibson is a former ROH World Champion.  Jamie Noble is the laughingstock of the WWE, and his career is probably in jeopardy thanks to the Celtic Ghost Warrior, Sheamus.

I guess what I’m trying to ask is: would you rather be a medium-sized fish in a smallish pool, or would you rather be a krill in the Pacific Ocean?  A krill that makes more money in a year than the medium-sized fish would make in five, or maybe even ten years.  What are your thoughts?

Well, I was going to talk about yet another issue that’s been bothering me for quite some time, but I’ve written 1,300 words, and I don’t want to keep you any longer.  So I’ll save that for another time.  For now, I’ll say goodbye and I’ll see you next time.


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