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Thanks to my laziness, I’m just now getting caught up with last week’s and this week’s shows, as well as the news outside the arena.  So it’s time for a grab bag of topics today.

First, I have to mention Kurt Angle’s newest situation.  He gets arrested for stalking his supposed girlfriend at the time, and police find HGH in the car along with a syringe.  And instead of getting fired from TNA, he retains the title at their PPV the next day.  Sigh.  When is TNA going to snap out of their stupor and realize that Kurt Angle is NOT the be all and end all of their company?  He had his run in the spotlight, but he’s past his prime.  He’s hurting the company.  Hell, the entire Main Event Mafia is hurting, perhaps even ruining, the company.  Now, admittedly, this is mostly hearsay and my opinions are coming from the spoilers I read for Impact tapings and from a few select other columnists who actually watch TNA.  But from what I’ve heard and read, TNA has all but abandoned its lifelong employees in favor of these “legends.”  I’m going to go to TNA’s website and count the number of former WWE or WCW wrestlers they have on their roster.

23.  23 out of 63 total on-screen employees are former WWE or WCW wrestlers.  Over a third of them.  And they’re the ones getting all the pushes.  Samoa Joe is the only non-WWE wrestler with a male singles championship.  Actually, now that I think about it, the numbers should be 24 out of 64, if you include Elijah Burke…I mean The Pope D’angelo Dinero.  God, what a ludicrous name.  Anyway, TNA’s been looking more and more like garbage every week, and with a felon their world champion, I have little faith that they’re going to pull themselves out of this boondoggle without some serious negativity going their way.

Let’s see…what’s next…well, there were those vignettes on Smackdown with Kane and Ranjin Singh.  I thought they were pretty well-produced, but after the second or so, they became more disturbing than entertaining.  And the result of that entire evening?  Kane beating Khali with a pipe and yelling, “I’M NOT AFRAID OF YOU!”  Really?  If you really weren’t afraid of Khali, you would have beaten him in a bowling-shoe ugly match by now, sir.  Luring someone into the bowels of an arena only to beat them senseless with a pipe is no way to prove how manly and un-afraid you are.  Let’s just end this utterly pointless feud.  Oh, yeah, and bonus cliche points for tossing the brother angle out there.  Might as well.  Seeing as how we don’t already have ENOUGH families in WWE already (real or fake).

CM Punk beat John Morrison for the first time ever!…on Smackdown.  I love how the announce team glosses over their feud from two years ago over the ECW Championship.  Obviously, they’re doing it to gloss over the Chris Benoit tragedy, but they at least could have acknowledged that they’ve fought each other before.  On the plus side, they had a great match in what I have to believe is a precursor to their feud over the World Heavyweight Championship once Summerslam is over.

Raw was…hmmm…what can I say?  Well, Freddie Prinze, Jr. was the best celebrity guest host so far, no doubt.  Having been a former writer for ECW, he could at least hype Summerslam and not call it “Summer-fest” (nice job, Jeremy Piven…), and he knew the names of everyone, and he acted a lot better than everyone has so far.  He actually looked as though he was having a good time in the ring, talking about upcoming matches, arguing with Orton, and taking one hell of a nasty looking backbreaker.  I give Freddie major props for taking that bump.  On the negative side, I could care less about next week’s host.  Floyd Mayweather again?  I thought he was done after that ridiculous feud with Big Show last year.  Maybe Big Show will actually crush him this time.  If Mayweather brings his posse with him, I may just skip every segment involving him.

I’m reading Anthony Valvo’s column on Wrestleview while writing this, and he brought up a fantastic point that grinds my gears to no end.  Since the Trump Trade, Hornswoggle has more victories than Evan Bourne.  Someone needs to pay dearly for this.  I thought that once he was brought up to the big leagues, Bourne would get an immediate push towards the United States Championship.  Instead, we have him job to Miz in Bourne’s home town?  What on earth are you thinking, Raw writing staff?  This kid is one of your hottest prospects, and you have him job to a guy who honestly doesn’t deserve the push he’s receiving?  Shame on you.

The women’s match was pretty brutally awful, especially the finish.  Two consecutive botches followed by a running forearm for the win?  Something went horribly wrong somewhere for both Mickie James and Gail Kim to screw that up.  And you could see how utterly disappointed Mickie was with the finish of that match.  It makes me question just how well these ladies are trained.  Yes, I realize that watching women like Rosa Mendes and Layla should give me some indication of their training level, but when we’re talking about women who have been in the business for more than a year, it starts to become troubling.  On the strangely plus side, Rosa and Carlito make a not awful couple.  Mostly because of Rosa…

The end of the show was a very “…huh?” moment for me.  Cena wins the match for his team, then Orton RKO’s him, Mark Henry makes the save, Show and Jericho toss the rest of the lumberjacks out, then Cena miraculously gets up and knocks Jericho AND Show out of the ring and stands tall somehow.  What?  How did Cena recover so quickly from the RKO, especially after that grueling match with Jericho, Show, and Orton?  It made no sense.  I suppose they had to make Cena look strong for his match at Summerslam on Sunday, but that was just ridiculous.

Oh, yes, and Macauley Culkin?  Talk about random as hell.  Oh, and he looks terrible, by the way.

ECW…the return of the Hurricane.  I really hope Gregory Helms wanted to do this character again, because if he was forced into it, I would feel terrible for him.  It’s an entertaining gimmick, for sure, but I hope it doesn’t limit Helms’ potential success in the ring.  Let’s hope WWE gives Helms a real chance this time.

I’m actually getting quite sick of Abraham Washington.  He’s not entertaining.  He makes the most obvious insults to every person who appears on his show.  And his laugh is so forced it’s painful to hear.  Couldn’t he just be Ezekiel’s manager or something?

Speaking of, my mark side really marked out when the Triumverate of Terror was formed at the end of ECW.  These three would make a perfect faction to rule over ECW for a while.  Regal as the lord and master, and Kozlov and Jackson the enforcers/beater-uppers of anyone else.  And have Washington be their mouthpiece.  Go all Mouth of the South on our asses.  Now that would be fun to watch.

Well, I think that’s all I’ve got to talk about for today.  I’ll definitely be back to make my picks for Summerslam once the card is set.  And I think that I’ll start doing picks for TNA PPVs even though I don’t watch them.  I think it would be fun to try to predict what happens in a company that doesn’t know what it’s doing.  With that being said, I’m out.  See you next time.

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