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Well, this PPV has shaped up surprisingly nicely for two weeks of actual match creation.  I guess that three hour Raw and the commerical-free Raw gave extra time to create and promote more matches than two regular shows.  8 matches, 6 of them championship matches.  I almost don’t miss not getting Night of Champions.  So, let’s run down the card and churn out some picks for tomorrow.

No DQ, No Countout Match – Dolph Ziggler vs. The Great Khali

When I first heard about this match on Thursday, they just announced it as a regular match.  The No DQ/No Countout stipulation was, I guess, added shortly thereafter.  And that stipulation will save this match from being a total waste of time.  We all know Ziggler’s on the rise (somehow after being completely buried on Raw), and he loves using dirty tactics, so I’d expect him to attempt to use chairs, trash cans, and everything else hidden under the ring to get the big man off his feet.  I doubt Ziggler will be able to hit his finisher on Khali, seeing as how Khali is a bumbling train-wreck of a wrestler (no disrespect in case he sees me in the audience and tries to choke me to death).  I wish that they would have put another Edge/Morrison match on the card in place of this, but at least I’ll get to see the possible reincarnation of Mr. Perfect.  As far as the match goes, it’s going to be ugly as sin, and Ziggler’s going to literally throw everything at Khali, but Khali’s penchant for no-selling will give him the victory in the end, quite possibly on top of a trash can.

Winner: The Great Khali

John Cena vs. The Miz

I’ll admit, I wasn’t a fan of this feud when it first started brewing just after Backlash.  But Miz has shown that he’s a heat magnet, not a chick magnet, and he’s managed to create and keep this feud smoldering with his mouth alone.  Now we get to see if he has the skills to be a singles wrestler.  And he’s got the chance against the one guy who can pull a good match out of anyone.  Cena even pulled two decent matches out of Khali last year or possibly the year before…I forget how long ago these things happen.  Anyway, I can’t truly picture Miz winning unless Big Show decides to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong yet again and screw up the whole match.  But if he gets caught, it’s a DQ victory for Cena.  I’d expect Cena to beat down Miz pretty badly, and win by DQ somehow.

Winner: John Cena by DQ

Women’s Championship Match – Melina vs. Michelle McCool

Arguably the two most talented women on Smackdown are going to have one more go-around for the Women’s Title.  Melina took a really nasty shot to the face this past Friday on Smackdown, and she looked like she was crying real tears when McCool kicked her shortly into the match.  I hope she’s okay.  I’m expecting a pretty fast-paced match with a lot of neat moves and a couple of crazy contortions on the part of the current champ.  McCool keeps boasting that she’s going to be the first woman to ever hold both the Diva’s Title and the Women’s Title.  I don’t think that’s going to happen at The Bash.

Winner: Melina

Unified Tag Team Championship Match – Primo and Carlito vs. Legacy

I’m looking forward very much to seeing Primo live.  This kid is a house of fire and he’s supremely talented with limitless potential.  He’ll likely never get to hold a world title in WWE, but he probably will deserve one down the road.  As far as this match goes, the build has been okay, but Rhodes and Dibiase have done nothing original in terms of helping build the feud.  The just insult the Colons’ hair and proclaim themselves to be the handsomest guys in the locker room.  That was cute back in 1986, but not today.  At first, I thought this was a lock for Legacy to win, but with the way the HHH/Orton feud has been building, I’m not so sure.  Also with Dibiase in The Marine 2, which is being released sometime soon, I believe, usually WWE doesn’t like to promote heels in starring movie roles, so perhaps this is the beginning of the end for Legacy.  Which is a shame, because they had tons of potential to be a great stable.  Especially when they had Manu and Sim Snuka.  But they dropped those two and now it looks like they’re going to be eclipsed by another stable.  A stable that I’d bet is next in line for the Unified Tag Team Championships.  Bet on The Colons vs. The Hart Dynasty soon.

Winners: Primo and Carlito

Intercontinental Championship vs. Mask Match – Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio

I am continually amazed at how well Jericho can keep a feud going long after I would have expected it to end.  He’s relentless in his pursuit of the perfect wrestling show.  Which, somewhat ironically, is not the company he currently works for.  Anyway, this feud has been awesome, and you knew it was going to culminate in a title vs. mask match.  You also know that there is no way in hell that Mysterio is unmasking…again, anyway.  He’s way too over to have his gimmick taken away from him, and likely always will be way over with the fans.  I don’t know if the stipulation counts DQs or count-outs, but I’d expect one of those so Mysterio can keep his mask and Jericho can keep his title.  As far as who wins…it’s a toss-up.  I’ll just say, for the sheer and utter hell of it…

Winner: Rey Mysterio by DQ

ECW Championship Scramble Match – Tommy Dreamer vs. Christian vs. Finlay vs. Mark Henry vs. Jack Swagger

Swap Evan Bourne in for Mark Henry and you’ve got the sleeper match of the night.  Still, even with Henry in the match, this should be a great match.  Everyone in this match has a grudge against nearly everyone else.  Dreamer’s got grudges against Christian, Finlay, and Swagger, Christian’s got grudges with Dreamer, Finlay, and Swagger, Swagger’s got grudges with Dreamer and Christian, Finlay’s got grudges with everyone, and Henry’s just angry.  This should be exciting, fast-paced, and filled with tons of action, especially near the end.  I enjoyed the Scramble matches at Unforgiven last year, and this should be no exception.  As for the winner, I think the heart and soul of ECW needs to hold his title a little longer to solidify his legacy in the business.

Winner: Tommy Dreamer

World Heavyweight Championship Match – CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

Punk’s going the slow burn route to Heelsville, which is fine.  It’ll set up a great feud with John Morrison down the line.  So you already know my pick.  But there are other factors contributing to this decision.  First, Punk needs a legitimate title reign to prove that he made the right choice in moving from ROH to WWE.  And SOMEBODY needs to hold on to a world title for more than six weeks.  We’ve yet to have one since the year began (save Jack Swagger’s embarassment of a title reign), and Punk should be the guy.  I’ve also read reports that Hardy wants to take time off after The Bash.  So unless WWE is going to lure him back with another title reign, I’d expect Punk to walk out of Sacramento still holding his title.

Winner: CM Punk

WWE Championship Three Stages of Hell Match – Randy Orton vs. HHH

I am so glad this isn’t a traditional one-fall match between these two, because they’ve shown in the past that their singles matches are, in a word, butt-fucking-ugly.  Yes, that’s one word.  With this added stipulation, it makes things far more interesting, and far, FAR more entertaining for us, the fans.  You know that WWE won’t deprive us of a stretcher match, so this match is going down to the last fall.  And, if the Colons retain their titles, I don’t see good things on the horizon for Randy Orton as WWE Champion.  Because he may very well not be.  Or the entire thing could be a huge swerve and HHH could join forces with Orton, laying down on the stretcher to allow Orton to win.  I just don’t know, really.  If that does happen, though, I’m taking credit for the idea.  This is actually a pretty tough match to call, so I’ll just…man, this is tough.  Too many possibilities.  Okay, I’ll just pick Orton to retain, but there’ll be some shady dealings involved in the match.  And let’s hope MVP gets his shot at the title sooner rather than later.

Winner: Randy Orton

Okay, there you go.  I’ll be at The Bash tomorrow.  If you order the show, you may see me.  I’ll be in the second row right next to the entrance ramp.  I’ll be the big fat sweaty guy with long hair and glasses.  I know that doesn’t narrow it down much, but I’ll probably be in the middle of a sea of kids, seeing as how most of the people around the entrance ramp are kids.  Lovely.  I’ll be back either late tomorrow or early Monday with a full recap of the events that transpire at The Bash, so until then, stay tuned.


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